Sunday, 1 August 2010

I'm not blind. I know that it's possible that we will be still feeding Seth his meals when he's 40, or still changing his nappy. But that way is the way to madness. Not that the thought doesn't strike me sometimes. When Seth is showing new awareness or skill then it's easy, but when that development pauses as it inevitably does, that's when the fear creeps in. I hate that as soon he gets in his chair he rocks back and forth. It's not enough that he shrieks with delight because I want him to be delighted by the toy on the tray in front of him. But then as I'm typing this Seth has stopped bouncing and is talking and reaching out to touch the toy. He's looking at it and in an instant my fears move back to the shadows. He IS aware of things around him and he IS trying to interact with them. Moving his own body is simply still much easier. But...if in the end Seth doesn't move on 'cognitively' as I'm warned over and over again by the 'professionals' I hope I can find peace with that. Right now though I'm back in a fighting mood.