Thursday, 30 December 2010

Here's to 2011

It's 9am and Seth is still asleep. See what I mean? And he only woke up once in the night! It means I can be doing this so maybe I'm less frustrated that he's not awake and more feeling guilty that I'm enjoying having the time for myself. Maybe it's a bit of both!

So it's nearly the end of the year. I normally hate New Years Eve and prefer to stay home under a quilt and definitely be asleep before midnight. However, a few weeks ago I went a bit doolally and asked my parents to have Seth for the night so that Craig and I could go out and PARTY. They agreed being the amazingly lovely people that they are and since then Craig and I have been trying to work out what to DO! I haven't had a good dance since our wedding last year but the club we used to go to back in the day has closed. We thought about going up to Nottingham to Rock City and getting a cheap hotel but that is a pretty expensive way to go and would we rather do that on our own rather than be sociable with friends? Then we decided that actually just being at home playing on the xbox with no distractions from Seth would be bliss. But is that making the most of Seth being at his grandparents?! So much for going out and PARTYING! We tried just going out into town one New Year probably just before Seth was born and it was just awful so we definitely don't want to do that! Ho hum. All of this indecision is because I want to shake off the shackles of 2010 and start afresh for 2011. Each year since Seth was born has been progressively less crap but this year, for me, has been dominated by tiredness, lack of motivation beyond Seth's stuff and eating crap (and getting fatter). We've got tickets for Download Festival next year and I'm so excited and I think that sets the tone for next year. Plus with Seth going to school I'm going to have a couple mornings free to be a domestic goddess (bets on how long that will last?!!!!). The other thing is that we've been trying to have another baby for the last 2 years and I honestly believe it's not going to happen. My body just isn't into the idea and I really can't blame it. So I want to get on with next year without second guessing every decision with 'unless I'm pregnant'.

I want to find joy in the life that I have, take control of things I can and let got of the things I can't.

This blog has meant a lot to me this year so thanks for reading it and thanks for all the comments, I have appreciated every single one. Especially thanks to Lyndylou, DerbyDave and Eric whose own blogs and blogs they have suggested have been a source of inspiration and support.

Wow I really am taking this New Year thing seriously aren't I?! Anyway I'm off to Candlelight Pilates tonight with a couple of friends which sounds very cool.

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Lots more firsts!

Seth's sight test went really well. He looked and tracked everything they moved in front of him. He didn't show any interest in the previous tests. They then put the drops in and checked the back of his eyes and physically everything is still the same. The doc (although he's a Mr not a Dr but I don't know what else to call him) said that Seth's eyes are obviously improving and that considering how in all the other areas his development is behind then we shouldn't expect his sight to be any different, and we should just hope for the best. That seems to be our family motto! I think the drops affected his eyes though because Seth had blood shot and gloopy eyes for a few days afterwards. I was worried it was conjunctivitis but it's clearing up on its own so can't be that.

And for another first, Seth stuck his hand in his bowl during breakfast the other day; weetabix and banana - doesn't it look yummy?
From Raising Seth

From Raising Seth

He spent the whole meal squidging his hands in it. Gross but great at the same time.

Then he spent some time playing with Daddy
From Raising Seth

Christmas isn't going too badly. Seth has been full of cold and quite sleepy. I was looking forward to having this time to play with him and I get so frustrated because he always seems to get poorly when we're on holiday. All the other time I seem to be taking him/picking him up from places; classes, nursery, shopping etc and then fitting in physio time or sensory time. But when we're on holiday we can relax and take our time and try to make it play time rather than work. But Seth seems to realise he's on holiday too and would obviously prefer to lounge around in bed a bit more. I can't honestly blame him and just need to try to relax and go at his pace-easier said than done, though!

Monday, 20 December 2010

My naughty, cheeky, clever boy

When Seth eats you can get him to lift his head to take food from the spoon but then he tends to let his head flop forward again while he chews. And then because he often keeps his mouth open the food can fall out into his bib. I've wondered if it's because he's concentrating so much on eating that it's too much to keep his head up as well. & that might be part of it BUT sometimes he will let the food fall out, look up at you and giggle like he knows he's being naughty and it's a game. Anyway the other day he was taking the food, dropping his head, letting the food fall out while he 'chewed' and then lifting his head just enough for me to shovel more in. So I refused to feed him any more until he looked at me. & he simply wouldn't do it. His 'more' became more and more coherent and insistent and he brought his hand to his mouth to sign 'eat' but he would not lift his eyes to look at me. So in the end I got up with his bowl and took it back to the kitchen and when I looked back he was looking right at me! Little bugger!

Since then I've noticed his eyes following me when I walk past him. He's been doing it more and more and it does actually make me jump when I turn to look at him to find him looking back at me. I'm just not used to it! & a couple of times when I've leant in for a kiss Craig has noticed his hand reaching out towards me as I moved away. To top it off, last night, Seth was sitting on the floor and he was having great fun rocking further back and righting himself before he fell. That in itself was very cool but I knelt down beside him to talk to him and he turned his head towards me and then brought his hand up to my face. I turned to Craig to say 'oh my god did you see that?!' and when I turned back to Seth he did it again.

Anyway it's the annual eye test on Wednesday where they wave uninteresting objects in front of Seth to see if his eyes follow them and then put drops in to make his vision blurry so they can look at the back of the eyes. I am hoping that they will be able to see the change in his eyesight as well but he never tests well. The hearing dept still think that his hearing is dodgy when anyone who knows Seth can tell that his hearing is brilliant.

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Classes and other mums

I went out with the girls the other evening; other mums who I know through the swimming, conductive and music classes that I take Seth to. It's the 3rd time I've been out with them and I'm so glad I do because I realised that as all the classes are finished for this term I wouldn't see them again otherwise. The classes are run by the school that Seth starts his preschool year in January so he'll still do them all but I won't be! It's great for Seth and will make things easier for me but I'll miss the classes and I'll miss talking to the other mums. It doesn't seem like 2 minutes since I first took Seth to his first class, trying to hold back the tears because it was so emotional; going to the class meant that I accepted that this was the right place for Seth, that he belonged in a school for special needs.
It was a running joke that Seth would sleep through anything- he used it as an avoidance technique and would often fall asleep in the car as we approached the school and plenty of times wouldn't wake up until time to say goodbye. He even slept during swimming lessons. Then when he realised I still dragged him there he started shouting his protests. Mostly during the conductive classes but they really made him work physically! But again I still dragged him there twice a week. & then he realised that it was actually fun and he started participating and enjoying the classes. & now 15 months later it's all over, for me at least. So thanks to all those mums who I now consider friends and I hope I see you guys soon.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Looking forward to Christmas

I'm looking forward to Christmas - the break from work and time with Seth. It'll be the first Christmas I look forward to since Seth was born. At work, colleagues would say the usual 'thank goodness its Friday' but I never felt it. Because work has been my break from home life. & home life has just been work. Does that make sense? But the balance has tipped and the weekends are less work and more fun.

I'm a bit worried about Seth's sleep patterns though. Saturday night after the party he just talked and laughed all night. Last night (Sunday) he woke up screaming every couple of hours and now he's still awake at 10.30. First of all it was screams but after cuddles he's now just laughing and chatting again so loud I can hear him from downstairs. He did have a good couple of hours sleep today (although I didn't and I'm completely knackered) but I'm worried about how little sleep he's getting. He rarely goes through the night and it is usual for me to wake up in the night to find him awake and chatting away to himself, plus there are plenty of nights when he wakes up screaming. But this is definitely worse than usual! Anyway, I'm off to get as much sleep while I can!

The party

Seth's party was great fun. It was held at Rugrats and Half Pints so all the children could enjoy it. Seth had 15 children come to his party, aged between 3 months and 6 years and the younger children and less able children could enjoy the sensory and soft play area whilst the older and more able children could play on the other bit. All good!

Seth enjoyed being there but as he doesn't really show acknowledgement of others it was hard to know if he appreciated the party aspect. However, he definitely enjoys his fab new toys that he now has - so many new things to press which light up or play music and sensory touchy-feely stuff. We directed a few people to Fine Solutions which is where our county toy library gets some of its toys and they've done quite well out of us!!! I don't think Seth slept at all the following night. He wasn't crying but I woke up several times and he was awake and talking every time so I think we slightly overstimulated him what with teh party and then opening all of the presents and playing with them.