Thursday, 30 December 2010

Here's to 2011

It's 9am and Seth is still asleep. See what I mean? And he only woke up once in the night! It means I can be doing this so maybe I'm less frustrated that he's not awake and more feeling guilty that I'm enjoying having the time for myself. Maybe it's a bit of both!

So it's nearly the end of the year. I normally hate New Years Eve and prefer to stay home under a quilt and definitely be asleep before midnight. However, a few weeks ago I went a bit doolally and asked my parents to have Seth for the night so that Craig and I could go out and PARTY. They agreed being the amazingly lovely people that they are and since then Craig and I have been trying to work out what to DO! I haven't had a good dance since our wedding last year but the club we used to go to back in the day has closed. We thought about going up to Nottingham to Rock City and getting a cheap hotel but that is a pretty expensive way to go and would we rather do that on our own rather than be sociable with friends? Then we decided that actually just being at home playing on the xbox with no distractions from Seth would be bliss. But is that making the most of Seth being at his grandparents?! So much for going out and PARTYING! We tried just going out into town one New Year probably just before Seth was born and it was just awful so we definitely don't want to do that! Ho hum. All of this indecision is because I want to shake off the shackles of 2010 and start afresh for 2011. Each year since Seth was born has been progressively less crap but this year, for me, has been dominated by tiredness, lack of motivation beyond Seth's stuff and eating crap (and getting fatter). We've got tickets for Download Festival next year and I'm so excited and I think that sets the tone for next year. Plus with Seth going to school I'm going to have a couple mornings free to be a domestic goddess (bets on how long that will last?!!!!). The other thing is that we've been trying to have another baby for the last 2 years and I honestly believe it's not going to happen. My body just isn't into the idea and I really can't blame it. So I want to get on with next year without second guessing every decision with 'unless I'm pregnant'.

I want to find joy in the life that I have, take control of things I can and let got of the things I can't.

This blog has meant a lot to me this year so thanks for reading it and thanks for all the comments, I have appreciated every single one. Especially thanks to Lyndylou, DerbyDave and Eric whose own blogs and blogs they have suggested have been a source of inspiration and support.

Wow I really am taking this New Year thing seriously aren't I?! Anyway I'm off to Candlelight Pilates tonight with a couple of friends which sounds very cool.